An Unlikely SEAL

Baja 2005

I didn't know the "military" side of you Glen. I was talking with a bunch of our girlfriends the other night over dinner. We all agreed, you were an unlikely Navy SEAL. Not for your skill or ability, we all knew that you were an assets to the military. But, we didn't know you as a sharp shooter, a Navy SEAL, a snipper or a warrior at all. We knew you as just one of the girls who happened to have superhero strength, was afraid of nothing and could fix things. I knew you as a bad ass laundry folder. You once told me that GAP employees were amateurs 'cause they needed a board to fold shirts. You bragged that you were a "freestyle folder".  You would take 10 times longer than me to get ready for a night out on the town.You would dress in just a shirt and shorts but then obsess about which flip flops to pair with the outfit. On one weekend trip to Baja (seriously a 48 hour trip) I counted you with 5 different  pairs of flip flops!  You were the best shopping companion ever; especially shoes. And just like a good girl friend you never missed an opportunity to swill cheap champaign with me. But here I go again with my memory of you....

Apologies.

I feel like I have to apologize to your family for not attending your funeral. I was in the bottom of the Grand Canyon when you died and did not get word of your passing until the afternoon of Sept 13th. I could have attended but it would have been really tricky. I would have had to; split up my group (which is illegal), hightailed it to Phantom Ranch (30 river miles), hiked out (which oh boy howdy, it's quite a hike), hitched a ride to Flagstaff or Phoenix or Vegas and bought a plane ticket to Boston from there. And I wouldn't have had anything, once I landed in Boston, like cute shoes to wear. I would have been dirty and smelly with hairy legs and pits! And more than anything, I knew you would not have wanted me to leave my trip. I knew that you loved the river as much as I do! I knew you would have understood why I stayed in Grand Canyon but I am not sure your family understands it. Well, truth is, other than your brother, I am not sure I actually show up on any of your families radar at all, but if I did.... I am so so sorry. And more about your mom later but for now, can I just say? I would so love to meet her! I want to know how she raised you and your brother because I would model whatever it is she did with my own kids. Sometimes I feel like I am writing the book, "How Not To Raise Your Kids" and having lost my own mom, I feel like I got no back up. So when I come across admirable people in the world, I wonder about their moms.

OK Huge disclaimer here. I wrote this blog entry yesterday and saved it. I thought I would sleep on it and publish it in the morning. This morning I woke to two separate emails from two of my close girlfriends who are veteran mom's. Both just wrote to me to tell me that they think I am a terrific mom. I know that I am a good mom. What I should say in the above paragraph is that I often times feel the overwhelming pressure of the "perfect mom". Nobody's perfect. I know I am doing a good job with my kids. And if  I weren't at least we (the littles and me) are having a really great time! My mom died too young and I miss her terribly, but to say I got no backup; well now that's crazy. I have more back up with girlfriends, my mother in law, sisters, and step mom than a girl could ever ask for! I allow myself one day out of the year to be completely ridiculous. I cry, pity myself, throw myself on the floor, wail  and just generally am completely unreasonable. But that day was not yesterday and it's not today either! So please excuse  my self pity parade in the paragraph above. I know I got back up and I love and treasure each and every one of them! And I don't want anyone worrying about me. See Also blog post "I'm Fine I'm Fine".

Our good friend Aimee relayed a story about your funeral to me a few months back. And I don't really care if the story is true or not. I believe in it because I love it and it makes me feel better. I tried to tell our girlfriends the story the other night, (the same girls who thought you an unlikely SEAL). But I couldn't get thru the story without crying. So I thought I would write it down here.

So after your Military Service Funeral; which it's just so like you to have the President of the United States speak at your funeral, your remains were to be flown to Boston for your private funeral. There was some sort of mix up though. So your remains were flown 90 miles away from Boston and when you landed on the ground you only had an hour and change to get to Boston. It also would have been sooo like you to be late for your own funeral. So someone at the airport called the highway patrol and said  "this is Glen, from Winchester, one of our own" and a "police escort is needed". Apparently word traveled fast among the ranks of The Highway Patrol. The highway was evacuated for you. A highway patrol car was stationed at each on and off ramp, with a law enforcement officer standing in salute to you as your remains drove past. And apparently, you made it to your own funeral on time. So nice work G.

I get now that you were a total badass. Lots of people are writing books and essays about your military service. I treasure their words. And I hope that there are more words to come. The Highway Patrol Officers, most of them having never met you, were honored to stand road side and salute your remains as you passed. It is just that I knew an equally impressive, albeit different, guy than badass Navy SEAL Glen. I knew a guy I had a conversation with concerning the threat count of Egyptian cotton versus percale bedding. Which, a conversation like that would not seem out of the ordinary except that it happened with you and on a Satellite phone from Yemen. Also I remember the guy who initiated  5 conversations, for five years running, from satellite phones in the Middle East to wish me a happy mothers day. You knew that mothers day is a hard day for me.

I knew you as an unlikely SEAL.The man I knew, true to the SEALs, made me feel safe and protected and you were certainly my hero just the same. It is just that my recollection and experiences with you are not as interesting to the world as your military service. That said, in my humble estimation the champaign swilling,  "Freestyle Folder" was just as admirable. I think right now one of the highest honors I have ever experienced, to date, is that you considered me your close friend.